I like to think I've been reasonably successful at becoming the person I used to want to be

That's a very good feeling. Of course not everything in life has played out exactly how I wanted, and there are always regrets about paths not taken

But ultimately I had an idea what I wanted from life and I mostly have it now

I had to make compromises on a lot of things, but it was worth it to get this far

I don't live in the city that I wanted to settle down in, but I own my own house where I live now

I had to leave family and friends behind in my hometown, but I have met new people and I have a new family where I live now

I don't work in my dream job, but I have built a solid career

I think the past me would be really happy to know what the future held for me, even if it did mean I am not that same person anymore

Edit: This is maybe a bit off topic but I think the recent cultural focus on "identity" (as in, "who am I") has been kind of negative for people

What worked really well for me was not getting wrapped up in "who am I" and instead focusing on "who do I want to be"

I've seen many friends and acquaintances fall off and become miserable because they got mired in their identity (both sexual and otherwise).

Meanwhile I am one of the most successful people I know of from the people I grew up with. Actually, I'm one of the most successful people in my entire country (top 3% based on income, anyways)

Maybe it's a privilege to not have to worry about "who am I", but I really do think "who do I want to be" is just a much better approach. It's something you can actually take action to achieve

This passage is from a book I read with my kids, in the "Mysterious Benedict Society" series. I like the way it describes how we become, in a sense, an accumulation of our selves, past and present. I also feel that way about some long-term friendships and other relationships.

> "And do you know what Nicholas said? I remember it plainly. He said that he doesn't believe that we become different people as we age. No, he says he believes we become _more_ people. We're still the kids we were, but we're also the people who've lived all the different ages since that time. A whole bunch of different people rolled up into one -- that's how Nicholas sees it. And I can't say that I disagree. How else to explain that sometimes I want to run and jump the way I used to -- but can't anymore -- yet at the same time enjoy sitting with a cup of coffee and a newspaper in a way you couldn't have paid me to do as a boy? Well, it's a wonder."

Here's another way this rings true. When I look at my wife, to whom I've been married for 17 years, I don't just see her as she is now. I see her as she has been ever since I've met her. I am married to a 44-year-old and a 24-year-old, and a woman of every age in between.

Emerson may or may not have said “ I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”

I have a four year as well and we go on grand adventures in the mountains and all over really. I think about this quote and decide that I’m shaping my kids spirit, their courage, their confidence regardless of if they’ll remember it. Beyond that in the present we experience joy and curiosity and laughter and life! It’s silly to lament childhood amnesia because I dont aim to catalog things and check things off a list but experience a fun and interesting life with my family.

Actual memories blur together with synthetic memories constructed from old photographs, and stories told by others.

These days it's really easy to accumulate synthetic memory material in the form of thousands of photos and videos. My kids are covered that way. The hard part is still having access to them a generation later. At least the sparse material from back then survives as fading photographs in a physical album. Not so sure about the flood of material accumulating on people's phones these days. Mine lives on reliable backups but I figure once I'm gone all that digital data will bit rot like everyone else's.

As for "same person"? Of course not. Both body and mind change over time as you accumulate life experiences, both good and bad. It's a continuum of change. I'd have quite a bit of stuff to tell my 30 year ago self. Don't know if he would listen.