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From '4,000 weeks': "Not only should you settle; ideally you should settle in a way that makes it harder to back out, such as moving in together, or having a child. The irony of all our efforts to avoid facing finitude -- to carry on believing that it might be possible not to choose between mutually exclusive options -- is that when people finally do choose, in a relatively irreversible way, they're usually much happier as a result."
From 'Zero to One': "When people lack concrete plans to carry out, they use formal rules to assemble a portfolio of various options. ... A definite view, by contrast, favors firm convictions. Instead of pursuing many-sided mediocrity and calling it "well-roundedness," a definite person determines the one best thing to do and then does it."
> Not everything that can be counted counts. Not everything that counts can be counted.
Like any good maxim, the original author is lost to time. But this [1] traces it to:
> It would be nice if all of the data which sociologists require could be enumerated because then we could run them through IBM machines and draw charts as the economists do. However, not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Which is from William Bruce Cameron's 1963 text “Informal Sociology: A Casual Introduction to Sociological Thinking.”
[1] https://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/26/everything-counts-e...
* If you always focus on growth, sometimes you focus less on maintaining what you already have. It tends to be the case that when you're really growing on some things, you're sometimes neglecting other things.
* I like to keep a small allocation of my time/energy to growth, but most of it on maintenance because I want to keep much of the good things I already have. Obviously this allocation varies by individual (based on your goals/desires/energy/time)
* Focusing on maximal optionality can be good, but of course an option is only useful when exercised. Collecting options is just a cost (premiums paid). At some point you need to truncate the options (let them expire/have doors close) and exercise/execute on a select few
I remember sitting up late one night in my twenties overwhelmed by the sheer number of doors I would never open. Not metaphorical doors--actual, physical doors to physical buildings and rooms. It had hit me earlier that day that the number of doors I would even encounter in my life is infinitesimal compared to the total number of doors, and the ones I would open of that tiny subset were orders of magnitude smaller still.
I suppose I could have responded to this by making some strange life rule where I always try the handle on every door, but I think I grew a lot more by deciding it doesn't matter, that opening all the doors, or even maximizing my chances to open doors, would be a waste of my life. So I guess they doubled as metaphorical doors after all.
I don't know how measurable it would be, but I would rather measure my personal growth by the peace I've managed to find with the realities I can't change and the choices I've made. For instance, I'm not infinite. I'm going to die. There will be things I dislike about the world that won't change during my lifetime. Stuff like that. That seems like a better measure to me of how much I'm growing.